Why didn't Anne Frank answer the door? Because it was the German SS.

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Why was the T-Rex so bad at math? Cause it was stupid

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Why did the redneck ask his daughter to get on her knees? His shoe was untied.

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Why did the man buy Trojan for his women? It's condom curtsey.

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What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

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How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

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Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

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roses are red violets are blue I forogt what I was doing where am I?

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

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A guy trips a blind man.

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You wanna see my secret freckle? NO! How about my butt? What!!!!!!!

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What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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