Why does Michael j. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If you give a homeless man a fish he eats for the night, if you teach him to fish then he probably won't be able to feed himself anyway, he is too poor to afford a pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your mama is so fat she suffered from diabetes and died of heart failure .

thumb_up thumb_down -20

XD I must like, really be into you, God I cannot breathe XD, that is like the most disgusting thing I have heard in my life, but coming from you that just comes out so quaint! XD

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did Charlie Sheen say to Rebecca Black? If you care about the punchline I hate you.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you call a guy with a school bus on his head? Dead. It's highly unlikely that a man would be able to withstand the weight of a massive school bus on his head and survive.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's brown and sticky? Shit

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's sad about four black people going over in a cliff in Cadillac? It was my Cadillac.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a black man at harvard? Probably a criminal who is in harvard law trying to find a good lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the little boy order at Burger King? He ordered a burger and wiped his booger on the counter.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

roses are red violets are blue i have to poop

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats worse than getting in a car crash Heroshema

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the kid get out of school at twelve? He left early with a stomach ache

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's mean to black people? The economy. But, I forgot to mention that it's not nice to whites, hispanics, asians or anyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why do women why perfume and make up? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's for dinner? Flesh from when your brother was alive and your blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the Chinaman say to the other Chinaman? I dont know, he was speaking in Chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

knock knock. Who's there? The delivery man.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's a fat chinaman? A guy who somehow got obese on rice. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water jack collapsed because of serious drug abuse and stress jill followed after not being able to handle the tragedy of her brothers death this wouldn't have happened if they got into my van when i asked them too.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops