Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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What's sad about four black people going over in a cliff in Cadillac? It was my Cadillac.

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What do you call a black man at harvard? Probably a criminal who is in harvard law trying to find a good lawyer.

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What did the little boy order at Burger King? He ordered a burger and wiped his booger on the counter.

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knock knock. Who's there? The delivery man.

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What's for dinner? Flesh from when your brother was alive and your blood.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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What's a fat chinaman? A guy who somehow got obese on rice. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!

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What did the man say when he saw a purple cow? Nothing. He was blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was free-range.

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Three men walk into a bar. Start drinking, fight each other and sustain massive head injuries.

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A whale's vagina

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AJ enjoyed his trip to Pen Island

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Why didn't the caterpillar turn into a butterfly? Because it was a cheeto

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a man walks into a bar, and says "can i get a beer please?" the bartender hands him his beer, and as soon as the man starts to take a drink, the man dies of a massive heart attack because of his unhealthy lifestyle

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what hurts more than a stab wound? two stab wounds

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? 2 Survived.

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A black man walks in to a bar and says ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

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Tim and Eric

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? ..He died.

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start

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what is worse than finding a dead worm in an apple? Obama being elected a second time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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