How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

What ended the black family's picnic? Rain.

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is your mom

Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

why did the kid get a bad grade he didnt study

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic, so to make his activities in the bar into a joke would be disrespectful and inconsiderate.

Q: What's white, sticky, and is swallowed by most women? A: Ice Cream

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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