Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

your momma is so dumb.. ... because she was a slacker in high school but then turned her life around and is now a respected member of society

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I have a black man in my family tree... He's still hanging there.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What's better than the Call Me Maybe video? A: A shot-for-shot parody of it featuring a GIMP! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFxnAITCv5o

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do you get when you cross an African with a Rhinoceros? A rhinoceros.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Republicans

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So a mama tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato were all walking down the street. The baby tomato was falling behind its parents. So the daddy tomato goes back, squishes the baby tomato and yells ketchup!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a room full of lawyers? A group of legally educated professionals.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the tight shirted Asian man spend all his time on his knees? Because when he was 12 he was forced to work in a textile factory where he lost his lower legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Has anyone seen that clown that hides from gay people in Tesco's

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black man, a Mexican man and a white man walk into a bank. The black man reaches into his bag and pulls out his bank card, the Mexican and the the white man do the same as they need to withdraw money.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I like dogs. Lots of dogs. Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz 7 8 9

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Of course you don't. they're sick and disgusting and enjoyment of one merits only the deepest of society's hatred and scorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two birds fly onto a bench. They cherp 3 times and sit there enjoying the nice weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball. Super Monkey Ball who? No wonder it's super.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you kill a retard You give em a kinfe and ask who's special

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmicist.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were it belongs.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is worst then falling off a tree....... Falling off a bigger tree

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops