Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

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What did one computer say to the other? 100111010100100111001010010001110101110010100010101011010011010010111000010101100100100100001101010000011111010010011010100110101001010100101010101010100101011010010010101010110010110010100100010101010101010

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Why does Danny work at the factory? Because Danny is in an substantial economic crisis, and doesn't have enough money to afford food for his 6 kids and wife. They will all most likely die soon, as his factory job will not provide enough money.

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Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson who? Shut up and give me ma dam candy women!

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What happened after jimmy cheated on a test. Jimmy went home.

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"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

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What did the Ginger get for Christmas? A: a soul

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Whats black and has no ring? LeBron James

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How do you get a women stop running a marathon? You tell her that you have AIDS and she should get herself checked.

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Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

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brandon ya twwat

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

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Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

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Does this napkin smell like chlorofoam?

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I'm a necrophiliac. Keep watch over your dead friends... ;)

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Why couldn't the black guy enter the room? He was too large to fit through the doorway therefore he turned around and left

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A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

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You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

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How do you drown a down syndrome child? Put him/her into water.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a man? One's tall the other's not

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A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

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I ponder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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