Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats an Anti-Joke? Funny

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why is it incorrect that the universe will end in 2012? Because profound idiocy doesn't always occur.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Men don't cum twice easily. That's why Jesus hasn't been around for awhile.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A little boy running with scissors he trips and falls and dies

thumb_up thumb_down +28

when a midget takes weed, does he get high or medium???

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Well neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Take off your shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I like toast -my name is Bob and I approve of this message

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops