Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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What did the blind boy get for christmas? harry potter transcribed in braille so he could enjoy such a magical world like the rest of us

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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