A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

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What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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What's the difference between mustangs and dead babies I don't collect mustangs

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

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What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Paige

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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