Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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Paige

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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Get in the car.

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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It’s dead.

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Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin get in the car.

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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Why did the black man get the grape soda? It was the only soda left.

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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