Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Fags are gay.

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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385

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops