How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

What's worse than repeating holocaust jokes? Repeating the holocaust.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

What's worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke? Your family being massacred in front of your eyes.

How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

Why is your face? Because.

Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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