Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

What's black and hangs from trees? tires ...and black people

What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

400 asian people walked in a bar

Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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