What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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?"what's up" "A preposition"

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So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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What's worse than being a Packer Fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... oh, wait....

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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I'm hungry.

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A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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