*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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Mexicans are like waffles

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What's worse than being a Packer Fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... oh, wait....

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

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Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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