When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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Society.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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Justin Bieber

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

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So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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Jews...

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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