A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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1,984

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

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What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

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A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What's worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke? Your family being massacred in front of your eyes.

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a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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