I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

when the doctor asked him why he was sad andreas replyd i have a small penis and drew and devin keep making me drop the soap

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

what sucks? things that suck

Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...