Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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what sucks? things that suck

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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