Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

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I'm hungry.

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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Women's Rights.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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A blonde, brunette, and a red head were walking on the side of the road and a fridge landed on them and they died. At least they still could go to their funerals.

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops