*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

thumb_up thumb_down -17

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

thumb_up thumb_down -63

What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

thumb_up thumb_down +110

What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down +102

An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Simon says; "You're adopted."

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A blonde, brunette, and a red head were walking on the side of the road and a fridge landed on them and they died. At least they still could go to their funerals.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops