A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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Dont look at me.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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banana

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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