The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

thumb_up thumb_down -168

Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

thumb_up thumb_down +77

When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the little girl get a new tricycle? To cope with her father's death

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why dont black people like cruise ships? they already fell for that trick 400 years ago

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

thumb_up thumb_down -37

You're a wizard Harry! I am?

thumb_up thumb_down -57

What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

thumb_up thumb_down +78

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

thumb_up thumb_down +54

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops