Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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why dont black people like cruise ships? they already fell for that trick 400 years ago

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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Why is your face? Because.

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

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What's worse than repeating holocaust jokes? Repeating the holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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What's worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke? Your family being massacred in front of your eyes.

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Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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