How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

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Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

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how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

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Why did the Kek Kick Ben? Cause Ben kicked Kek's Kik. KEKEKEK

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin get in the car.

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What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

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Q.Want to hear somthing that will never happen A. Sure A. the Houston Astros won a game.

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Get me a sandwich, bitch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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