Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rihno? Rihno-elephant

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Surprise mother father (A+)

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69

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Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

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Racial Equality.

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

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What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

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That was SOOOOO funny that I laughed!!!!!

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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