Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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This is my firstever post so I wanted to make it very specialand have it really mean something, then I though fark that for a joke

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2 women were sitting quietly.

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What do you get when you cross some eggs and some toast? Breakfast.

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Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

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What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

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what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

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What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

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what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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banana

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What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

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Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he can't fly

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

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Racial Equality.

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One white male lives in a city with all blacks. He puts up with gang violence nearly every day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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