What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Kek Kick Ben? Cause Ben kicked Kek's Kik. KEKEKEK

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

This is my firstever post so I wanted to make it very specialand have it really mean something, then I though fark that for a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

agp

thumb_up thumb_down +112

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

2 women were sitting quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down +102

What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -68

What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A black walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken. He was a customer.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops