Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

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What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

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the Holocaust. Because anything involving the Holocaust is automatically an anti joke. the Holocaust wasn't funny.

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

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2 women were sitting quietly.

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

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You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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