what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

thumb_up thumb_down -12

No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

thumb_up thumb_down -58

What is green with wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -146

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

thumb_up thumb_down -170

Gues what makes me smile Mouth muscles

thumb_up thumb_down +169

why did the man die? because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +125

what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Get me a sandwich, bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you make a Trucker cry? Kill his family and chop of his arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

How did the black man get out of the bathroom? He opened the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down

So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops