There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

whats worse that 3 black guys dieing in a train accident .... one was ur brother the other was gay

Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

who drinks pee? katness

No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

Hello penis

lol

2 women were sitting quietly.

What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rihno? Rihno-elephant

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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