What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

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How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

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Poop

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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9/11

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How did the black man get out of the bathroom? He opened the door.

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

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Once upon a time, your face.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

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Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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knock knock whos there not me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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