How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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What's white and sticky? Glue.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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What Does Alex J Simpsons Face have in Common with his hand? Spaghetti

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

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Why did the Koala Fall out of the tree, It was Dead

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whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

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Hello penis

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What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

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What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

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Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

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Hi

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What can be worst than letting someone you dont know run a chainsaw? Letting Smokey Dokey run a chainsaw!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops