- Anti Joke

Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

Yo mamas so fat, that I need a new pair of sunglasses.

Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

What's worse than death? Nothing.

IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

A man walks into a bar. He leaves when he realizes he is supposed to be at a business meeting

Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

What's brown and sticky? A penis.

69

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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