What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

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Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

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How do you escape prison? Kill everyone in it hen once you have escaped find their families and viciously murder them. Are they going the send you back to prison? No because you will kill everyone.

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A baby walks into a bar, I find that very unlikely as very few baby's can actually walk.

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Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

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An Amish man walks into a bar. He then orders a non-alcoholic beverage due to the temperance practices of the Amish faith.

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What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Q Why did the man run away from his shadow? A He didn't it was physicaly impossible.

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How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

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What do 9 out of 10 people like? Gang rape.

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Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

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What the did the man say to his boss? You are my boss.

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whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

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Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

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Unless you yourself put you trough that pain and misery, you have no reason to dislike or flee from who you are.

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I saw a "Baby on Board" bumper sticker on a car TARGET AQUIRED

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What goes good with coca cola? Thirst

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What is funny and has three legs? Not the Holocaust.

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Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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