OY SHIT ITS YOUR MOM!!!

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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What do you call 12 black doctors in a dark room? 12 black doctors in a dark room.

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Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

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Why did the black man buy watermlons? Because a new local super market just opened and they were on sale.

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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irish wristwatch JLR

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What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

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A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

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A women president

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What do u call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

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Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Jim: "Hey guess what" Bill: "What" Jim: "George Bush got reelected" *Bill proceeds to throw himself into the Atlantic Ocean.*

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? I thought you were dead.

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Why did the kid cry? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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ask me if im a tree! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Yo mama is so depressing. That is so sad.

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How many women does it take to drive a car? One. She had a sex change.

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Mac: Hi, I'm a Mac! PC: And I'm a PC. Steve Jobs died.

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violets are red my name is bob this poem makes no sense microwave

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What do you call a black man who works in a ice-cream truck? A Ice-Creem Man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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