What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

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irish wristwatch JLR

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Why did the black man buy watermlons? Because a new local super market just opened and they were on sale.

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Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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A women president

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

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Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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What do u call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!

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How many women does it take to drive a car? One. She had a sex change.

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Mac: Hi, I'm a Mac! PC: And I'm a PC. Steve Jobs died.

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Yo mama is so depressing. That is so sad.

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Jim: "Hey guess what" Bill: "What" Jim: "George Bush got reelected" *Bill proceeds to throw himself into the Atlantic Ocean.*

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Why did the kid cry? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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ask me if im a tree! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? I thought you were dead.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I suck at Poetry, show me your Tits.

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how did they guy with no legs in the wheel chair walk? he couldnt because he had no legs.

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What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

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How did the blonde get blood on her Ipad? A terrible paper cut.

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A: B: No pun intended.

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A pig and an elephant walk into a bar. But the pig doesn't even make it into the bar because the mentaly insane elephant ate him. Ouch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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