if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Leukemia.

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What did rosa parks get for christmas? -Racism

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I was going to tell a Holocaust joke, but I Jews not to. Anne Frankly, it's disrespectful. I'm sure you did Nazi that Hitlerious anti-joke coming.

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What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

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A jewish man, a black man, and a redhead walk into an electronics store. Because they work there.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Me.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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why was the pen lonely? because it didn't have a pen pall

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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Hey, so I know this guy who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy's cousin who's name is Mark.

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How do you know if your teacher is gay? Ask him if he is gay.

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Why is America so great? Because the continent is really large.

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what did the terorist do when he went out side blew up

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A man walks into a bar and starts telling anti-jokes to his friend. His friend is a follower and laughs even though they aren't funny.

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When will racism end? When everyone's dead.

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The only time your mother was ever considered "hot" was at her cremation.

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One cold winter day in Russia, a man asked a tree if he was cold. The tree did not reply, and the man became depressed.

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What does Kim Kardashian and a Navy Vessel have in common? They are both full of seamen!

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What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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