How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

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Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

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Who is Jonathan Ezell He is Jonathan Ezell

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How is an orange like an airplane? They both have wings except an orange doesn't have wings

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Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: That question doesn't make any sense.

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A guy trips a blind man.

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*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

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A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

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Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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I can't see my forehead

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Type 2 diabetics

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Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

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What has sand and an ocean? A picture of a beach.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted. You're adopt...wait what?

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An Iraqi, an American and an Irishman get on a plane. They all enjoy the in-flight amenities, agree that the food was sub-standard and arrive at their destinations safely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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