What happened to the boy after he ate a piece of Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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why doesnt jesus play hockey? he got nailed to the boards

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A man walked into a bar. Ow!

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So a duck walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk for lip balm. The clerk asks, "How will you be paying for that?" to which the duck replies, "Cash."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz 7 8 9

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knock knock. Who's there? The delivery man.

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whats red and spikey? an apple i lied about the spikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being held for random.

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You know what sucks? Yes.

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Did you know Hellen Keller's dog ran away? You would have to if your name was RaAeltraERKAERMaelaefa

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What did the man say when he saw a purple cow? Nothing. He was blind.

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(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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A man goes to the beach to meat babes, but know one seemes to notice him. The man notices another man with a crowed of beautiful women surrounding him. Later that day he stops the man and asks him, how do you get all those girls? the man replies put a potato in your bathing suit. so the next day the man puts a potato in his bathing suit, this time he notices girls walking by and laughing, he goes to the man at the end of the day and asks why it did not work, the man replies, next time try putting the potato in the front

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Q.What did the anti-joke reader say to the doctor? A-My finger is stuck on the dislike button.

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Whats black and white, and red all over? A: Your grandma, naturally black haired, beaten to a pulp and left pale white with blood covering the majority of her body.

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What do you call a white man in the middle of Mexico City? Dave.

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why did the walrus sex with the jew because 911 created a sexual falafel

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whats brown and sticky? a four week dead uunborn african child...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got mercifully trampled by a nearby 18 wheeler.

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knock, knok who's there? ya ya who? yahoo

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? "Where's my keys?!"

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Q: What do you call three black people in a car? A: Maltesers

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Is that a baby in your carriage or are you just happ..... WTF. WHERES ITS EYES!? **purges**

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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