What do you call a guy who died in a stampede? Grandpa.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

how do you spend all your money you go buy stuff

Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

69

How many dead babies can you fit in a mini? It is variable according to the size of each baby.

What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

Debating on internet is like competing in the paralympics, even if you win you're still retarded

What do you call a fat indian boy Eeeeeeeh fatty boy

why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scottsman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

Why was Ray Charles always smiling? He was Happy

Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

Q:what did a keppy kid with a big nose say A:hi im josh Roberts

Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

knock knock who's there doctor doctor who No

Knock Knock! Who's there? Jeff. I don't know anyone by the name of Jeff. Please leave my property immedaitely.

That awkward moment when you wonder why this person keeps stepping on you, and you realize that you’re a shoe.

GONNA

Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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