Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

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How many people does it take to drive a car? 1 person

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How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? I don't know... Does the deaf woman locked in my basement?

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what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

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Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bucket of poop. The Mexican is a human the bucket of poop is an object filled bodily wastes.

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What do giant panda bears eat? giant bamboo

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Knock knock. Come in.

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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what's 2 + 2? i don't know that's why i'm asking you

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Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

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A ginger was with his friends

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Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

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What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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Why did a boy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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Why is the little boy so smart? He tries in school and hes asian

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what did the dirty homeless girl get for Christmas -A DILDO

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one day i went to bed

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A Irishman walks into a bar... he suffers severe head injuries.

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How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

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A Irish man walks our of a bar

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What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

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President Donald Trump

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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