Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

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Two cows are in a field. One says to the other, "are you worried about this mad cow disease that's going around?" The other replies, "I'm not worried - I'm a squirrel."

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Why did Gus go to the HC? Because he got high off his ass.

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What do you call a black priest? A black priest

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A three and a half foot tall clown walks into a bar, it is quickly learned that he is only 8 years old and is excorted out by security.

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

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1 friend request facebook: ignore. Nuff said

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What did the door say to the hand? Please stop caressing me!

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Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a creepy movie, and it gave Six nightmares.

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what did one black man say to the other black man? hello

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melon

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roses are blood violets are veins vampires are crazy and you are insane

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How did the magician make his assistant disappear? He killed her and then cremated her body

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A Squirrel gets ready for hybernation. 21 You Stupid

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Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

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do you want to hear a joke?

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- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

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What's black and white and black and white and black and white? A chessboard.

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I love you Itachi Uchiha, please let me lick ice cream off of your body and oh crap you're an anime character and not real never mind

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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Yo mama's so fat that she should probably go on a diet to avoid the risk of getting a cardiovascular disese.

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What's a ghost's favourite country? Fraaaaance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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