Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Your momma's so dumb, she had to spend an extra hour studying for her mathematics test.

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so if you need 20 dollars and you just kicked your cat how old is your mom. cake because you are a 666 member.

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A homeless man walks into a house He is invited to a lovely lunch and then beaten to death

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Did you hear about the guy who got his entire LEFT side ripped off? He's dead.

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A black guy walks into a bar... *3 hours later* He walks out...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz 7 8 9

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A Rock accidentally fed a giraffe his fetuses conceived by a box of glue from Jewish Heritage that was made from marker sharpeners that fed paper to elephants while strumming a box of tissues to wipe up the mess from a box of chocolates Forest Gump feeds on your soul while a rock accidentally feeds a giraffe.

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Tell you something funny.

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Why did the wife leave her husband? Because they were having sexual differences and time restraints. The husband worked nightshifts as a nurse while the woman stayed home and took care of their child. The husband confessed he never wanted a child in the first place, and that having sexual intercourse with her didn't truly satisfy him.

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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A man walks into a bar... who cares what happens after that Charlie Sheen is winning and Osama Bin Laden is dead

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball. Super Monkey Ball who? No wonder it's super.

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What do you call a white woman that had sex with a black guy? A rape victim.

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What do a woman and a female dog have in common? They were both annoying so I put them down.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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A black man, a Asian, and a Jew fell into a pit and because of a lack of water they all died.

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Two guys walk into a bar. One man walks out of the bar at a similiar time.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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Why did the man fall of the building? Someone shot both of his kneecaps.

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a boy says hi.The girl says bye. The boy starts to cry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops