(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

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What did the man say when he saw a purple cow? Nothing. He was blind.

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Whats black and white, and red all over? A: Your grandma, naturally black haired, beaten to a pulp and left pale white with blood covering the majority of her body.

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What do you call a white man in the middle of Mexico City? Dave.

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Q.What did the anti-joke reader say to the doctor? A-My finger is stuck on the dislike button.

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A man goes to the beach to meat babes, but know one seemes to notice him. The man notices another man with a crowed of beautiful women surrounding him. Later that day he stops the man and asks him, how do you get all those girls? the man replies put a potato in your bathing suit. so the next day the man puts a potato in his bathing suit, this time he notices girls walking by and laughing, he goes to the man at the end of the day and asks why it did not work, the man replies, next time try putting the potato in the front

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got mercifully trampled by a nearby 18 wheeler.

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whats brown and sticky? a four week dead uunborn african child...

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knock, knok who's there? ya ya who? yahoo

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why did the walrus sex with the jew because 911 created a sexual falafel

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? "Where's my keys?!"

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Is that a baby in your carriage or are you just happ..... WTF. WHERES ITS EYES!? **purges**

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Q: What do you call three black people in a car? A: Maltesers

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Why Did The Black Guy Eat Watermelon? Because he lives in south africa where they are commonly grown and needed a healthy snack.

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A man walks into bar and orders a drink. The bartender says " Hey I saw a bunch of men coming in and out of your house while you were on vacation last week." The man replied " I know. That's because my wife is a prostitute."

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Whats worse than three dead women in a ditch ? 4 dead women in a ditch.

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Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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what do you call three kkk guys in your house ghost busters

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What do a fish and a moose have in common? They both live under water, apart from the moose.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple?

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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"Happy Father's Day!" said the little boy to the old man. The old man broke out in tears because he had always wanted to be a father.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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