Why was baby Johnny crying because a monkey came and ripped of his dick

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whats wors than getting hit by a car? getting raped by a giant scorpian

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A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

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A man walks into a bar. He recieves a concussion and dies of internal bleeding 3 hours later.

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

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how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Why couldn't Jenna play double dutch? Because she had no friends.

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Q: what did a kid in harlem get for christmas? A: nothing he got shot

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Nothing if you heard a loud sound or something that was me dropping the phone, by accident, its busted, I will call you when and if all of your "facts" turn out to be true, Hey, had no idea my doppelganger would be so down to earth by the way, so I am sleepy, what about you?

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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why do people copy other people's anti-jokes? because they don't have a life nor an imagination. P.S. if this gets a lot of thumbs ups, expect another one soon from one of those people who copy others anti-jokes...

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Loner.

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Why did the airplane crash? It was hit by a flying refrigerator.

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A man walks into a bar...... He then wakes up in a hospital. along with a large bruise on his forehead.

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Jesus once got nailed to a cross, beaten and gave his life in order to prove he was immortal. Safe to say, people remain impressed even 2000 years later. Moral: Lol, hey, its quite a feat, but what life did he give if he was immortal? Jesus is a okay dude though, he stole donkeys from stables (for transport) and when his disciples asked if stealing was bad he replied: God will provide for them. Awesome.

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what do you call two indian men lying next to each other? i dont think there is a name for it but im sure you call them by there names.

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What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

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Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

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What do you call a dead, black child? Dead.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Oh wow, I've never seen one that big before. Thats what the 12 year old boy said as he starred at the the Great Pyramid of Pharaoh Khufu.

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What does Chuck Noris have under his beard? A chin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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