Your mama's so fat.... I ran around her twice, And got lost

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A fat guy. - Louis

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How do you kill an american? You shoot them

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So a mama tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato were all walking down the street. The baby tomato was falling behind its parents. So the daddy tomato goes back, squishes the baby tomato and yells ketchup!

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what is sticky and brown?a stick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see the CN tower. He was then hit by a fridge dropped by people running tests on the top floor.

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What's clear on the outside and grey on the inside? An elephant in a plastic bag.

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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What do you call a black man on your front porch? -Racism is a serious and non humorous problem.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz 7 8 9

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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its was amazinglysmooth fuck off

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Sticks and stones can break my bones Well maybe you shouldn't play in the tree anymore

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

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Knock Knock Come in. Thanks.

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A Jewish man walks into a grocery store. He purchases the items he needs and leaves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it hit a poll and died of brain damage the next day

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You know what's better than a taco? A better taco.

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What did the compliemantry peanuts say to the man? "Nice tie."

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knock, knock... no one replies and it becomes obvious that no one is in the house.

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How do you cripple a fireman? You push him down the stairs.

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"What is the sound of one hand clapping?" "I'm not quite sure, but your on fire."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops