What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

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Why was the little boy afraid of Mr.Clean? Because he reminded him of his father who was an alcoholic and used to beat him savagely.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? According to the theory of evolution, chickens are descendent's of dinosaurs, meaning that a dinosaur laid an egg, eventually creating a chicken thus meaning that the egg came first.

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Spanish Inquisition.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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How do you cripple a fireman? You push him down the stairs.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter it's not going to come to you anyway.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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Joe Alfon walkes into hell, The devil say: " hi" And joe burns to death

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Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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Yeah, so I was partially right when I assumed that you joined the feds in order to make sure the past would not repeat itself huh? The underground society never broke a simple rule, a single law, it simple grew from a bunch of dopeheads, to people capable of creating nuclear weapons... Just a matter of speaking of course.

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How do you stop a charging rhinocerous? Nuke africa.

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? (NO) Neither have I!

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How do you make a burns victim cry? You show them a mirror.

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How do you kill a retard You give em a kinfe and ask who's special

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Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were it belongs.

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What's the difference between a horse? All legs are of equal length, especially the left one.

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What is worst then falling off a tree....... Falling off a bigger tree

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Q: What's Black and White and Red All Over? A: This is a logical fallacy. If something is "Red All Over," it is implied that no other color can be showing. Thus, whatever innate Black and/or Whiteness was formerly attributed to said object will now have been inherently obfuscated by its Redness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops