What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

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why is santa so jolly? hes not hes a fictional character made up by our parents imagination

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Quick its the weed hide the cops! ... wait...

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How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

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A man fell off a cliff... He died a vicious death.

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Kevin was very nervous going into his job interview. So he pretended he was a salad and ate himself.

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What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

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Shut the cork up!

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Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

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There is a middle-eastern man in customs with a turban and a briefcase and he is profiled by his race which is a sad fact of our society.

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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Debating on internet is like competing in the paralympics, even if you win you're still retarded

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I would rather live in a world a chicken's motives would not be questioned.

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I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

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Q: Who lives in a pinaple under the sea? A: Garry

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do you want to hear a joke?

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what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic.........colby schluter.

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Women Driving.

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why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

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Why did the guy with alzheimer's say to his wife? He can't remember.

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Why are you reading this joke? There is this nice 'Bad Idea T-Shirts' ad right there.

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what do you get if you eat cream cake, coffee cake, strawberry cake, chocolate cake, fruit cake, and sponge cake? a very large stomach-cake.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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