What can you sit on, drink from and sleep on? A chair, a cup and a bed.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Blue fish occasionally consume large amopunts of the insides of oak trees.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? How did you know it was me?

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

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What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a fictional superhero and a black man is an ordinary man of African descent.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, im epileptic sdblkselhvefbed

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Whats black and white with red all over? A dead panda

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hi corey

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a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ow".

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Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

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Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her...

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adam sucks off disabled old men for a pac of biscuits

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Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

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No, I do not have the will, I have a family now, I make a living writing fiction, and well, play a small role in keeping not national, but worldwide stability in such things as the economics. The thing is, that you are renegades, you do not break the law, but you like to do things your own way, that gets you enemies among the so called "paragons" in the face of society and media. Its just like back in the days, if CIA, The Feds, Interpol and such are known as the "Paragons of civilization" or "the good guys" if you prefer, they can point towards you guys, and say "these are evil", and then nothing can stop them.

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Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

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Why did the fat guy survive the plain crash He didn't he died like everyone else

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Xbox One

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Why do fancy unicorns wear jackets? Because they're fancy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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