What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

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Q. why are black people so good at sports? A. Hardwork and dedication.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

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four little monkeys jumping on the bed... one fell of and bumped his head... mama called the doctor and the doctor said... im calling child protection services.

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How do you kill a Mexican? Rupture its vital organs like any other organism ,but murder is wrong and should not be done under any circumstance

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a boy walks over to the living room and shouts " happy birthday, daddy!!" the response is "i'm a cup, therefore i do not have a birthday because i am an inanimate object."

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What's better than eating baby? Nothing.

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So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

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So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

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What makes a catholic priest happier then a visit to the penn state locker room? Introducing Jesus to people and them accepting him as their savior.

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INSULT- You've got a photographic memory, but the lens cap is on. INSULT- Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic INSULT- I heard you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. From- Insults and Putdowns lite

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Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

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Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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<3 ... it looks more like scissors than a heart...

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Q.What do you call a black man flying a plane? A. A black pilot you racist bastard

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i like turtals and kids

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs. A pharmisict.

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how many jews can you fit in a volkenswagen? 2 jews in the front 2 jews in the back 15 jews in the ashtray

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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