Pete and repeat were on a boat. Repeat fell off, who was left?

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A dolphin walks into a bar. Dolphins do not have legs therefore this is physically impossible.

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What is worst then falling off a tree....... Falling off a bigger tree

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What's the difference between a horse? All legs are of equal length, especially the left one.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were it belongs.

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A black guy walks into a bar... *3 hours later* He walks out...

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Why did the man fall of the building? Someone shot both of his kneecaps.

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My nieghbor is blonde, but she doesnt like corn dogs or anything of that sort because her boyfriend is mexican. Mexcans are banned from eating corn dogs because they illegally crossed the border. Her dog wieghs about 8.9485763 pounds. Her nieghbor also protests corndogs because she cant fit throught her customized door which was 39 feet long. Why was six afraid of seven? because that lady is 700 pounds.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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Stephen Hawking raped your mom

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Why could'nt the boy eat peanuts? Because if he did he would proceed to have an allergic reaction, his throat would swell up, he would go into analeptic shock and die.

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How many Asians did it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 Asians are just like every one else

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What happened to Kurt Cobain? He committed suicide. He shot himself in the head with a shotgun and then he died.

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Why was the duck in jail? For Smoking...Quack!!

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What do squirrels and Justin bieber have in common? Everything.

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What's funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

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Knock! Knock! Who's There? The Police. Open the damn door. Nobody Is Home.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

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What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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