how do you get a mexican to fall off of a cliff? you push them off

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Not much, that would not be so great.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from the black man

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

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What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

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What is the square-root of pi? ?pi

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

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the WNBA

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Why did osama bin laden cross the road? To commit suicide

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What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

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knock knock who's there?

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u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it was a refrigerator. Why did the little girl die? Because she was hit by two monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Loner.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

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A. Do you know what they call Bing Crosby in Sweden? B. No. A. Bing Crosby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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