Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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what did one pedophile say to the other at the playground? DIBZ!!!

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Dylan is a person

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A Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell peanuts." The duck turns around and leaves.

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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Why did the pirate say to the donkey? Rrrrrrrrrrr you a donkey?

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yo mamma so fat she got pied to be the Olympic swimming pool

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why did the chicken cross the road??? I don't know, that's why I asked you -_-

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Why is pi? Because circles.

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Dogs in my home.

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Did you hear the one about the man who kept losing his memory? I don't remember how it goes... by the way, did you hear the one about the man who kept losing his memory?

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How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

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bergin y u so tubbbbbyyyy?????

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Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

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Why did the girl fall of her chair? The chair can only hold so much weight.

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A guy walks into a bar... Ouch

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

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Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

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What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

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A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

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matty russel are you on here

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Leukemia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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