How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

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What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

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Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

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JOHN to MARY: Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet So are you MARY to JOHN: Roses are red Violets are blue Who are you? JOHN to MARY: Roses are red I'm your husband MARY to JOHN: No! JOHN to MARY: WHAT??? MARY to JOHN: Ex Awkward silence. Mary moves out the next day.

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What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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Why did osama bin laden cross the road? To commit suicide

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

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What is the square-root of pi? ?pi

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why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from the black man

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Not much, that would not be so great.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

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the WNBA

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

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A woman went in the kitchen and made you a sandwich.

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Black Person Eating Fried Chicken

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knock knock who's there?

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What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

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what do you call a grown man who sticks food up his nose? retarded

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u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Loner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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