A man looks both ways before crossing the street he gets hit by an airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar and brings a Snickers. He gets a beer, eats the candy, and leaves leaving the wrapper. The bartender is angry with the littering but cleans it up and serves another customer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scottsman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A: Hey ask me if Im a fire truck? B: Are you a Fire Truck? A: No why would you ask that?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is brown red and white? I don't know, that's why I asked you

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Mr. Pazdzioch and Mr. Hahn and Mr. Fishers big ass do for fun? Ate Mr. Kilgores shit at shin-go-beek jamboree.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said, who's there? KNOCK KNOCK OH MY GOD, WHO IS IT??? Yes, we have your daughter here, she was caught doing drugs on school property.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

when the teacher asked jimmy if he was a girl jimmy felt very scared because his teacher had no mental problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? Sitting on a black man is just plain rude.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: what did a kid in harlem get for christmas? A: nothing he got shot

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Minecraft.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You have such a big heart (Girlfriend) The doctor's think dangerously so (Guy)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops