How is pinocchio's nose like a penis? They're nothing alike.

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How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

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if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

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brainfart

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How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

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Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

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Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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What did the child rapist say to the little boy? I'm going to rape you.

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I'm off to my tank guys!

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Thumbs this down

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What's black and red and can go through time. I don't know but you have cancer and are going to die very soon.

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What do you call a black priest? A black priest

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Woof woof

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Why did the Mexican man jump to the floor? He had a stroke.

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What's the difference between and Jew and pizza?!?!?! Jews are people and pizza is a food product :D

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What's white and hides in a tree. A refrigerator.

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Q: Who lives in a pinaple under the sea? A: Garry

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Why did Frank go to the doctor? He had a bad case of the ebeyjeebes.

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If life gives you lemons ask where they came from.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Tell her something that doesn't make any sense at all.

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How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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What's the cookie monster's favorite kind of cookie? Oreos

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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