Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

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You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

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What is the square-root of pi? ?pi

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What color was the duck? It had one foot.

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A man knocks on a wooden door. A woman says who is it?

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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O.J. Simpson. What would you do in that situation?

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

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Ebola

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JOHN to MARY: Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet So are you MARY to JOHN: Roses are red Violets are blue Who are you? JOHN to MARY: Roses are red I'm your husband MARY to JOHN: No! JOHN to MARY: WHAT??? MARY to JOHN: Ex Awkward silence. Mary moves out the next day.

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please dislike this or else i will continue writing this, lalalalalalalalalallalalalalallalalalalalalalallaallaalallalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalallalalaallalalalalalallalalalalalallalalalalalalallalalalalalalla

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Hey guess what! We're birthday buddies! May 3rd.. Yeah that's why you should give me 5 bucks.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Whats green and has wheels? A Rednecks front lawn.

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What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Doctor Interru- You have cancer.

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a man got hit by a truck in brooklyn, JK he got shot, he was in brooklyn, Duh, he stumbled out in to traffic afterwards

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Why did the boy go to the CONCENTRATION camp. He was a Jew

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing.....?

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What's black, white and red all over? Nothing, I'm colourblind.

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ass in my face ? no

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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shea kisses a girl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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